Are we in a gay sports bar?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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