i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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