She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
