dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?