She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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