two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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