Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
