This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
