What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
