he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
