ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
