On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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