The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
