Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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