i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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