you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
