just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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