don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
