That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
