these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
