you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
