So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize