first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
