Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
that is very illegal...i love you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
