You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
