she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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