Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Need sex. Gaining weight.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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