You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
