how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We're too hungover to prance.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
