So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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