watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
