Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
