wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
