I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
