So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
