My pussy is not your playground.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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