; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
