yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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