So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize