I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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