your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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