I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
