What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
