This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize