Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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