Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
They are going to name an STD after you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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