that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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