she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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