I want to have your abortion
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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