the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
time to smoke my breakfast
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
