just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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