So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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