Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
