you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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