My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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