i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is Oprah even human
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
