she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
3 2 1 whiskey
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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