I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
