I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
