So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
