i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
