how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
